december 12, 2007 .//. 2:13pm Bored out of mind. I have nothing else better do. I'm not really tired right now so I've decided to blog. I don't really expect anyone to read this since I'm rarely on LJ/xanga as is, but here is an update for your lil eyes. I have no idea what is new in my life, it seems that everything has just been happening and I've just been dealing with it. I had a few things i wanted to type out for old times sake but I ended up just keeping it hidden and forgetting about it. Not really having a record if that makes any sense. Lets be boring and talk about school. I havent picked up a pencil (you know what i mean) in like half a year. I've been in a slump for the whole artsy side of me. I don't really see myself getting anywhere anymore. I'm going to make a little trip to visit sheridan in oakville on thursday but I highly doubt it'll spark anything for me. I just get more lazy and lazy as each day passes with art. It's sad. The only time I've done art on a regular basis are the artboards i do for the store @ work. I've just been working and working and chill on my day off which is friday. It's almost a sense of the real world. Although its routine, I enjoy it simply because of the people I'm always around. Outside of work; it's different but I cant complain. People have to live there lives, that youth we had and carefree lives we used to live when we would stay out and do whatever for as long as we wanted and when we wanted sure passed fast. I don't know why but I tend to just grasp those moments alot more and pay closer attention to the smaller things in life. I miss alot of people. Friends I havent seen in months (maybe years). It was just over 5 years ago when things started going for me with social networking. What a stump I've hit. Okay im just blabbering about stupid shit now so I'm just going to switch the topic randomly. I got my G1 back! ROFL man I suck. Anyway i can take my G2 anytime i want and I plan on taking it during spring time. I just don't know where yet because the course that was near airport closed down and that place was easy, breezy, beautiful cover girl. I don't wanna call my driving instructor because he's a jackass! Anyway, speaking about cars and stuff. I've yet again fallen to that small interest in cars; more than before now that i think of it. And it's all because of Initial D :(!!!! *flash back* I remember when Tim would talk about ID so much i bought the series off him. haha he taught me alot about cars but at the time I was such a n00b. Initial D came out for arcade, version 1. I couldn't drive it. Tim taught me how to play that game properly (now that i think of it, he also taught me how to play counter strike). Anyway Version 2 and Version 3 came out probably in 2003 or 4. I haven't played since because i rarely went to pmall as often as i did and playdium didnt accept the cards. WELLLL last month, playdium received the newest version. 4!!! ahaha! new game engine and everything!!! the game runs smoothly and considering me with games i like, i became addicted. I had to give Rina my game card cuz i was spending $$ so fast!!!! Shes not going to give it back until 2008. Anyway this game got me so hooked that i watched Initial D 1st-4th stage all over again. It's pretty sad. I'm using techniques from the anime in the game and sometimes...it actually works LOL tim. if only you could see me now on where i am w/ that game HAHA! ahh well :( havent chilled with the dude for a couple years now :T anyway! thats not all tho with this small interest in cars. Andy bought his civic that he was saving for earlier this year. Knowing someone when they decide to buy a car to the point you see them drive their goal right infront of you certainly has motivation in it. Thats why I've decided in the new year, I'm going to save up for a car of my own. Hopefully get it before september rolls along. Melvy saving $$? haha what lies! haha here's the deal. If I want my initial D card back, I have to trade rina my debit card but allowing me to withdrawl $80 (maybe less) every paycheque. This will basically take me back to when i was still at sheridan. My parents gave me $80 every 2 weeks for bus tickets and food/or saving but i couldn't do that. Andy really motivated me to do this and watching initial d and playing it now just pushes me more to get one. Im going to make this one of my resolutions and I'm pretty confident that it'll work! I'm aiming for a '01-'03 mazda protege, although im somewhat considering the AE86 for the sake of fucking around i'll probably stick to the protege. RX7 can be found for $4000 which is pretty good but i heard insurance is a bitch. My dream car; s2000...doesnt seem to be a possibility for me due to my lack of income and my height HAHA! the protege stands out for me due to those years of the production models. Like how i said earlier, around the years when my social networking started to get a good roll. I've said this before but i'll say it again but i hated my highschool friends hence why i started meeting people else where. Even though it was a hardtime for me; hopping groups and all. It was my most best years of my life and i have no idea but everytime I look at the protege it just reminds me of that time frame. I think a big reason for that is because alan bought the mazda protege 5 (hatch) and he was the first guy i knew that bought a car or had one of his own (not his parents) at our age. hahahaha! the small things in life!!! BUT YES! I am looking forward to that!!! okay this is the most _______ blog ever so im just going to leave it at that. I think ive killed enough time for my bordem. going to sleep!...
btw thx everyone that showed up for my bday! it was the best one thus far! ^^ pics on the otherhand are a different story...i felt like typing more than uploading HAHA!...!!! PICS WILL COME SOOOOON
october 8, 2007 .//. 2:56am It's sad and upsetting to be on facebook and see that your friends joining groups that have "in loving memory of" or "rip" in the title. Life is truly short and sometimes we don't say what we want to say, in some cases it may be too late. Cherish these moments you share with your family and friends; a couple years down the road you can look back and have a good smile or laugh. I've come across many different types of people over my life and I don't care good or bad; it's made me such a better person now. People should open their eyes. Someone could be doing their best to help you out, or maybe just looking out after you for whatever reason. I know, we could probably get blinded and not see the obvious. We get so caught up with everything else going on in our lives and then start taking things for granted. It shouldn't have to be this way. I've come across some situations recently where people don't realize the things they go through just to help someone out but only receive as little as a *shrug* at the end. Wake up. It hurts me to know and believe those individuals who have gave the whole "if you ever need anything" speech to me and when I needed it, they'd totally throw it back in my face. I do not lie when I say it but if I've ever said those lines to you, the offer still stands. Man, I'm going off topic, so moving along. People do care about the things you do and/or say, good or bad; they'll take notice. So be thankful to those people who are important to you because we all know its always good to get that feeling that someone appreciates something you've done for them big or small. Its thanksgiving. I've always wanted to let people know how important they mean to me and thank them for everything they've done me to say/think such things, but of course, I don't want to be writting all those personal thoughts and feelings so that everyone who is reading can read it. So I'll figure out another way or...just ask :). But really think about it. Say what you gotta say. Do what you gotta do. Because time's a-tickin' and there may not be much left if you keep holding it off.
My condolences to those few that may be going through some rough times right now. Everyone else, have a safe thanksgiving and enjoy the rest of the weekend. yup, another entry that doesnt really make much sense but meh! i just had to write it (:
July 28, 2007 .//. 11:51pm The last time I saw her in person; we decided it was better for us to remain friends; or so i thought. Remain friends, but still do some fun activities. She wanted to paint with me someday and that it'll make her really happy and I said it would make me happy as well. We're both art students and its really hard to find someone who would actually go out with you one day and ART!!! The next couple of days were difficult to cope with but I was able to manage. Here is my side of the story.
I still called her from time to time to have our regular night chats. I was just almost there, getting over her that is. Until one night a little spiral of confusion came rushing towards my face. "I miss you" she says. I didn't know what to say. She was the one who told me...asked me to just move on but now she appears to have some second thoughts. My feelings came back strong knowing that she had feelings for me still. It was nice and it was hard. My job took alot of time away from me to talk and randomly visit her (as friends of course). It didnt end there, I had to sign up from summerschool for 1month. ENG3U0 aka Grade 11 University English; at the adult learning center in Mississauga. I need it to get into ENG4U0 aka Grade 12 University English. My spare time depleted when school started. For the first couple of weeks...I "thought" things were going well. I felt really happy still talking to her even though I haven't seen her for a while. We'd say things to each other and it was a good feeling. Yeah, sure, I'll admit that alot of the conversations we had, we didnt have much to say but it was still good to kno that they were on the other line with you. The school workload got a little heavier and so did my work schedule. I called but no one picked up but it was nothing to big because I had a bit of work to do anyway. I remember this one phone call when she told me stories of what shes been doing for the past couple of days...she mentions "I've been seeing and meeting alot of people lately. I also party alot too" (or somewhere along those lines) but what made me smile was she said "nothing has changed though", "about what?" i reply..."about us". Havent really been dating for 2 years and finally someone saying something nice like that to you...ohh what a feeling i can only describe with such little words. But like i mentioned before, the work load just got too much for me...It got to the point where I couldnt call...or even when I did...I would call and no one would call me back nor send a message. Was I trying too hard? or maybe was she just trying to tell me something. I started thinking alot; old habbits i guess. The way i saw it was so...
I noticed myself never being around when she would call. Busy at work, school or chilling with more of my local friends. It was never a good time and when I would call back later that night, she would be fast asleep already. It appeared we didnt have any time for each other from there on in. Things were fading away and I couldn't do much about it. The sound of her voice when she talked to me changed everytime, I knew something was up. I put myself in a position reflecting on my personal experiences towards this problem I am going through. The more I thought about her, the more I would miss her. Ahh yes, there were those days when she wanted me to say those words to her but I'd refuse as a tease. But now...another clue that kind of gave me a hint of somesort was when I did say it. She didnt say it back. It was inetivable really...I saw this coming when I realized I had to take summerschool. Towards the end up till now, shes been out doing her thing with her friends, impossible for me to even have a conversation with her because I didnt want to take time away from her when shes with other people. So one sunday, I was recklessly driving home and I gave her a call asking if it was okay for me to drop by. sure. But I remembered that I had to finish up some readings, had to cancel. Tried again for a Wednesday but she slept in cuz she was partying the night before. Thats totally fine. The reason why I am typing out all this is just to get a better picture of what I am thinking. I just wanna know what happened really? How does she feel. I have this pet peeve, when someone you like, likes you back. Things are going well but then they get up one day and run away without saying a word. I just didnt want her to be one of those girls. I am hoping that she will at least share something with me...from her perspective rather always listening to mine and assuming things. I perfer to have a friend who would just tell me something straight up rather having me find out another way and totally trashing my heart. Its been here and there so I'm used to this type of situation and if there were another guy...I'd just want her to tell me first. My luck ran out and if she finally has what she wants or is lookin for then great!! haha you most definately don't want someone following you when your in that happy state...and im not a stalker so *nods*
I try to think logically rather hoping this and hoping that. It brought me no where before so why would I try again. The events that have taken place have made this unavoidable. Yes I am sad...missing someone all this time and finally realizing that you're the only one thinking that way...Now, im not trying to get all emotional to get sympathy...Im aware of whats going on and pretty strong mentally...but its true though. You would like someone that much and it gets flipped upsidedown completely the next day...
hoping, thats all I was doing. Maybe after summerschool I can finally spend some time with her but maybe its been too long. She probably doesn't even have feelings for me anymore. I think this pretty often just because a beautiful girl like her actually liked me at one point. I just didnt understand...to tell you the truth...I still dont!!! haha! but after all this time I think back to when she told me "nothing has changed" and just hoping it'll remain the same...guess I thought wrong right? Here is how i finally realized that her feelings have changed. I brought up the topic of my portfolio and that I would like to have her assistance with some architectural drawing because shes really good with that stuff. Her tone changed. She mentioned that she still wanted us to paint something together someday too...she was so awake, so full of excitement. She was really happy. I played along; not that I wasn't happy with it...its just that I knew it wasn't the same anymore. The laughter and joy in her voice; after that one giggle. Having me to mention a plan that we're going to do vs. the many times I heard the same joy and excitement when we just talked and talked...I was torn in half...
Theres not much for me to say, gotta find some closure to this because it is important to me. I just hope she knows that and that her calling me back shows me some acknowledgement that she does care one way or another...i cant control her actions or feelings. She is who she is. What I like her for. But as usual; time can tell. Time which is passing me by oh too fast :T
the screen on my camera cracked...i originally thought there was something wrong with the previous picture i took but i remember seeing cracked images of LCD screens on the net (i dont remember how i came across it LOL) but i soon realized after that this was real...i was at dimsum last thursday when i noticed and i didnt feel like eatting... me without a camera is fucking retarded!!!!! ugh i hate it...the camera still works but i have no clue on what the functions/settings/options are set to right now...i've been meaning to head to CANON which is located on dixie and courtney park...not too far from work but ive been..hmmm.."occupied" for the past lil while...for the mean time, ive been using the camera ive used in gr12...for those who knew me back then..this may look familiar!
okay lets all say EWWWWWWWWWWW!!! omg! hahaha yooo u have no idea how upset i am with this...the fact that i have no camera in my pocket..its just..UGH! omg! i feel like i should just not go out...hahaha! okay its not THAAAAAAAAAT bad cuz i do have a "replacement" but since its a downgrade it feels sooo like..omg i dont wanna operate with this camera anymore! hahaha it was fun back then cuz whatever its all i had..but now its like wow theres so much better crap out there..this is like retarded...shutter speed is like 2 seconds!!! hahahahaha WTF 2!!!!!!!!!!! soo longgggg hahahahahahahahahahahahah mannn i hope this screen repair is cheap..if not i gotta save up for a new camera ASAP!!!!!!!! o-o..anyways...i guess i'll type out a new entry sometime this weekend or whatever...got stuff i'll prolly wanna type out to "keep on record" hehe :)
april 13, 2007 .//. 1:25am HEYY i just realized..its friday the 13th..hawt! SOOOO the plan is......to take things, recycle/reuse them to make something new..that works...so i chose...a gumball machine..pretty random!!! wanna see my materials that i will be using?
oh this is gonna be fun HAHAHAH dimsum gumball machine *i'll keep u guys posted*
hey...all my university pung yaos!! good luck on all ur finals! dont over work yourselves...keep at it and then you can relax!! ^^ *shakes fists @ the ones leaving to HK soon* HAHAHA jk
march 21, 2007 .//. 2:35am *mehehe* so i got a new haircut on sunday...i decided to get something i had in highschool...why? haha just cuz i guess..lol anyways today i put shit in my hair...first time in months! ahaha i dunno its nice but its so bad for my hair :( o well what can i do i guess...
hmm not much has really been happening with me as of late...im bored...sooo fricken bored..i finished BECK: mongolian chop squad in like 3 days...saturday before work, andy, rina and myself went to playdium...cuz adriel wanted to host a lil get together there to play some games...but he over slept and we just went hahaha that bum! ahhahaha anyways we got in, walked around and notice some kids playing intial d..so we waited for them to finish...andy n rina raced...andy let rina win so i raced rina n i just won cuz it was pretty close! ahhaha...then some kid came on and raced me for SOOOO LONG..he kept loosing and kept trying n tryin again...LOL when he finally beat me i was like omg i cant believe he beat me..(the boost was on for all those who play)...so i played him on a harder level...beat him and he left...then SOME other guy came on, i beat him one round...then he beat me another..i was gettin mad cuz the boost was on...so andy went on and beat him twice...then i went else where..later, i saw andy coming off from the machine...i was like..what happened?! haha they didnt let him pass...damn arses! oh well....LOL i found that pretty funny...then i headed to work....anyways after all that racing...i really wanted to watch initial D again...so andy let me borrow 4th stage...so im watching that right now LOLOL *sigh*...WOO i cant wait til AN2007
what 2 talk about...hmm if anything..yesterday..i just helped out a friend. she got into a fight with her mom n older sister...over a stupid issue...one that doesnt make sense...my friend purchased a laptop...and was payin monthly for it...older sister took it cuz she needed it more...talked 2 her dad (in another country) and told her that she should just give it to her...so my friend hasnt used the laptop for a couple weeks...sister n mom demanded that she pay for the next payment of the laptop or whatever...but she said no cuz its not hers anymore...i guess verbal got phsyical..sister also jumped in...friend got a broken nose...police were called...so since she cant really stay there, shes just been lookin around...and the police didnt even find a place for her to stay too..how gay is that...anyways that was a couple days ago...so she's been hopping around friends houses...so she could crash.....i let her sleep over at my place...it wasnt much but it was something i guess..i talked 2 my mom about it...but she only will let her stay that one night which was yesterday...its expected i guess...i tried...haha but yeah its just i feel kinda helpless..i dont like seein ppl stranded like that...but theres nothing i can really do..so..o-o but i hope she's okay...so i just spent the day just keepin her company til we figure'd out what was going on for her tonight...we went to the mall to kill sometime cuz i had to pick up some stuff from walmart...then she called her bf but his parents dont like her...so i dont think she could stay over there...(its cuz shes not european or something...traditional family i guess)...but yeah..i hope she found a place to stay for the night..she works 2morrow morning so i dunno whats going on...but other than that...not much excitement going on in my life :P what else can i talk about i wonder...
april 23, digital painting starts..gotta save up a paycheque to pay for that course! :( i dont think im going to be taking photography anymore :( *sigh* but im really lookin forward to spring/summer...things arent the best with me in some areas right now but like always, i'll keep chin up !!! thx for reading ^^
[BECK OST]tanaka koyuki & minami maho .//. moon on the water
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march 14, 2007 .//. 12:40am
new "JERKER" desk from ikea. has an add on as well....got alot of cleaning to do... the start of my new "hang out room for summer" has begun
im addicted to BECK: mongolian chop squad...it makes me wanna play a guitar LOL 300 was orgasmic...saw it with vikki, elvis, ken and vincci!!!....visulizations were done REALLY well <3 im gonna watch it again for sure..but on imax :D
umm..yeah i dunno that is all :( hmmm i dunno what else to type here...LOL i feel like typin but whatever...:)
febuary 23, 2007 .//. 2:18am womp womp womp!!!!! yes ladies and gents...fuck...im such a fuck up...im screwing up my english class...been so busy with work and school projects..even tho english class is school too..im not too fond of the late system...even tho its more "pro" hahaha!...10% deduction per day its late....im just so overwhelmed with stuff...the marks are piling up..i hope i dont fail :( ahhh it'd be so shitty if i do...and fuck..my brother is so fucking retarded..i have NO idea what the fuck he does all day....all WEEK for that matter...he has english...and 3D class...but fuck...HE DOESNT DO ANYTHING...school wise...like he just simply doesnt do it!...i think all these years its just been grown on to me...his lifestyle. its fuckin hard to get out of...like i can but i cant at the same time..its retarded..yes yes i kno its like my life..i shouldnt let others habbits brought on to me...i control what i do....im aware..but oh god damn...like he's the older one...even when we were younger he could have been some sort of a role model...instead i had to follow this...and u kno whatever else i was exposed to...shit man wth..he doesnt do anything all week..he has ALL the time in the world to finish off his assignments...but no...he spends his time on his computer locked up in his room...chatting on the mic with some person who lives who knows where....or gaming....its a disgusting lifestyle...sometimes his friend calls and asks him 2 go out but he's like still sleepin and refuses to get out of the house...ugh..its fuckin sick...how can u do that....i honestly dont know...last week..there was assignment due from class the previous week...the class i had to miss cuz i was workin on my sculpture...and i needed sleep >_<...anyways i came home....and he told me the teacher gave em an assignment and it was due and that he'll give the assignment to me later...so i was like okay....i worked the next day...the week went by and i forgot about it...thursday night when i come home from work he's like here's the assignment...sigh...i really dont wanna think this way anymore...last min shit....mannn what the hell..why am i complaining about stuff when in the end....all that matters is what i do for me...not anyone else...so it shouldnt effect my productivity....fuckfuckfuck...haha im stressing..yes yes yes :( its just if i dont pass eng..i cant get into illustration...that is..if i pass my portfolio evaluation...:T !@#$% SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHIT this so fucked..i hate my brother hahaha but he's my brother...-_- FAKKK lolol
chinese new years just passed...it was pretty cool...saturday nite i picked my cousin peter up from kipling and we went to my starbucks cuz he wanted to see my location (he works at one downtown)...met some of my co workers...got some drinks n went home...home we sat n ate dinner...and you kno..chinese new years is like about family n stuff....well the way i see it..thats how it is...i never really go out on chinese new years....unless its with family haha! anyways...after i ate..i was really full but my mom n my cousin were still eatting...my bro finish..but UGH he just left the table and went to the basement like some regular dinner night...my mom n cousin were just talking..kinda catching up...since peter moved out of his house cuz of some issues...so they were catching up...i just sat n listen'd...it was nice tho...i hope they didnt mind me just sitting there...hahaha anyways..peter started asking questions about the family history......how we came to toronto/mississauga..and how 4 families (including mine) all managed to get houses in the same area....like my aunt's backyard is connected diagonally across from ours...uncle used to live down the street b4 they moved to shanghai..i think they're renting the house out now...and my other uncle has a house near fairwind...which isnt all that far too...anyways..haha heres the story with that (oh shit boys and girls...melvy entrys are up and running again) hahaha! so as most of u know..i was born in manitoba....i moved to toronto in 1986 or 87...we stayed at my uncle's place on my mom's side...we were gonna stay there...my dad n others bought houses in mississauga...to rent out...that was their original plan on how 2 generate some income...but my mom's sister in law (my aunt) her family was coming from china and there would have been too many families in that tiny house in toronto....so we just moved in here...haha the house next to my aunts that connects with our backyard...the uncle who lives near fairwind....had his eye on both..so when they were doin renovations...he ended up likin that one more than the one in my area...hahahah! it was pretty funny...i dunno how this all happened...okay i kno that didnt make ANY sense what so ever....but yeah it just got me thinkin on like how hard it must have been...my parents comin to canada in what..the 70s? and where we are now..i honestly couldnt believe it....when i saw the big picture....how hard it must have been..the sacrfices they gave up...to support us...and i mean when i look at me as a person and where i am....its like..wtf am i doing....all these thoughts rushed into my head....like when i was in china..all the kids there were SOO mature for their age...really traditional...and it impressed me..put me to shame..but in a shockin way hahahaha!...just grew up differently but still...i felt like im a dissapointment sometimes...anyways all this going through my head in the background as i listen to the coversation my mom n my cousin were having....i swear i was about to cry...hahaha i felt it coming cuz it was too much..i felt like such a failure..but i didnt cuz it would have been pretty stupid if a i was just sitting there..not saying anything at all into that conversation and just started crying out randomly ahahhaha! so after i thought that i just went back 2 normal and it just passed me by....but now that im thinkin about it again i dunno....its just like at my age my dad left china...to start a new life...hmm i think he was 22 or somethin around there....and here i am...sittin infront of this computer...with like...nothing to show for...the times have changed...we take things for granted....daily tasks are becoming easier with the help of new technology....making us more lazier than ever...its so fucked....i hate it....but its unavoidable...i grew up this way...i grew up in this era...so i guess its a part of me if i like it or not...hahaha!....man i dunno...just everytime i talk about future n money n stuff with family its just a overwhelming punch in the face of thoughts...i still see myself really young...but to others i prolly seem old....but its just all an illusion i think....fawkkkkkk hahaha anyways the conversation then moved onto somethin about health insurance (horrah for starbucks benifits) and then dental plans....then we started talkin about some other random stuff that apparently didnt really stick out cuz i forgot what we were talkin about LOL! hahahaha anyways it was a good dinner..:) sunday i had to work...monday...we went dim sum....my bro n myself went 2 sq1...bought some stuff from walmart....got some new listerine shit...hahaha i dunno..ahaha i dont wanna go 2 the dentist oh so often anymore cuz i dont have insurance right now....so this new listerine supposidly makes ur teeth more white...i hope it works HAHA! anywyas..this new thing...i rinse for 60secs b4 i brush.......spit it out...brush...and then rinse with another listerine (the regular stuff) for 30sec...at first...for flossing i wasnt sure if i was suppose to floss b4 or after i rinse with listerine...cuz i thought if u floss b4 it'd be more intense cuz the gums become more sensitive...and if i floss after..thennnn i'd rinse whats in my mouth with water? cuz i dunno? hahahahahah ive been told after u listerine ur not suppose to rinse with water? cuz it kinda defeats the whole purpose? hahah is that true?! hey man! IM CURIOUS okay?! i hate when things like this happen...things we kinda..sorta..should know..but no one ever really talks about it! LOL AHHA!....anyways...yeah what do u do?! i floss n then listerine regardless...because its FUCKING INTENSE ALREADY...my eyes become all red..and i look like im gonna puke..it burns HAHAHA! :D
sorry im jumpin all over the place with topics....
NEXT TOPIC... the other night i had FULL control of what was going on in my dream..i swear it was like a video game hahahahaha i loved it...all this shit was happening and things were bothering me in my dream...i was gettin annoyed with it...things like random objects hitting me...as i walked down this path...corridor and yeah..anyways when i realized that i could control where i went..what i did....i was like WOW this is so cool!!!! and then this monster came out and just "bullied me" so i ran away..and i was like yo FUCK THIS!!!!!!!...so u kno how i was workin on that sculpture...from my previous dream?!?!?! hahaha anyways i was like...oh mr. monster its soo OVER NOW!! so guess what..i some how managed to pull out a box...i geared up put the mask on....and i fuckin went nuts AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA wOOOOOOOOOO +10str...but then my mom woke me up and told me to go 2 work :( AHHAHA! but that was pretty funny! :D
after 2day's classes... im on reading week...woo? so here's my schedule 23rd .//. school, portfolio stuff 24th .//. portfolio stuff 25th .//. work 2:30p - 11p 26th .//. work 6:15p - 11p 27th .//. work 6:15p - 11p 28th .//. @waterloo: lunarfest 1st .//. depends on the events of the 28th 2nd .//. last min portfolio touch ups 3rd .//. hand in portfolio, work 11:15a - 5:30p 4th .//. work 3:15p - 11p
okay that was really long..full of melvy non sense typing :) enjoy guys ;D
painted finished sculpture thingy from last entry's randomness...haha woo? :)
febuary 11, 2007 .//. 10:20pm whats up with people these days...everyone's just so fucking bitter...its also fucking retarded how ppl you thought you knew can just be someone completely different. heck i kno people can have their bad days...and yeah if you dont wanna talk then thats fine. but shit dont continue the conversation...make fun of the person ur talking to and insult them. like seriously why does one have to bring their crap on to someone else in such a negative way. i'd be happy to help or talk but if you treat me like crap when im tryin 2 be nice...then seriously fuck off...yeah its just another bump in the road so i'll probably get over this in no time but for the record...that was just not cool what was said and the reason you gave for saying it was pretty stupid too...and to be honest..i cant believe im actually typing this out...cuz i never thought i would actually type this out...and have you on the otherside of my rant...if that makes any sense...like u are still a good friend and things have changed i know...and im sorry if i did initially insult you somehow...someway...but i doubt it...it just happened and thats what bother'd me...i understand you have a new life...one completely different from 3 years ago...and yes no one wants to go back (cuz i kno u kno what im reffering to)...but fuck! it made me mad for the words you said and the past just came crawling back...it ruined my night...just thought u should know anyways on a lighter note...im pretty determined on what i wanna do this spring/summer. open my site, design tshirts, sell artwork at anime north, digital painting with bobby chiu 2, take a photography course, and get my smartserve. and from the looks on how things are going...i think im actually gettin to where i wanna be for once...my job is gettin easier n easier...my last entry was just silly LOL...so ive been lookin for dslrs and laptops...comparing stuff...my friend james from photography has been helpin me pick one and stuff..teaching me some small things i forgot about from gr12 photography class..refreshing my memory n ish...hahaha! but its gonna be such a pricy thing to invest in...but in the end i think it'll be worth it..im also lookin for the button maker machine that some girl has at the AN convention...it cuts the image out of the paper in the process of making the button itself..where as the ones ive searched require you to cut each design out b4 you place it into the press...i think i gotta do more research on that tho o_o. but yeah im just gettin excited for the near future!!! thats all! hahahahah :D :D :D!!!! everyone's so busy these days...its hard 2 see people...but in time...^^ anyways ..damn i seriously dont type like i once did...maybe cuz i dont really care anymore...nah, wait..maybe its cuz im not in any drama and theres no exciting stories to tell HAHA! yes i think thats it!...but i dont want it..(for now) so im COOOL :) anyways i'll keep you guys updated...but for now...i guess that shall be it...oh no wait...photos!! ^^
sculpture i worked on...its based off a dream i had...i typed it on lj once so maybe you'll what im talkin about :) the painted version will be posted when i finish it...hopefully by thursday/friday LOL
i got "certified" on saturday :D hahaha its really a fun place to work....my co workers are AWESOME!...wecoming me and helping train...the days go by so fast...not like FS where time passed by SOOOO slowly..and wanting to go home...at sbux its like....oh shit im off already? hot damn!...i really love this job!!!! thanks adriel for hookin me up in the first place....LOL and thanks elvis n vikki for bein the first friends to visit LOLOL! hahah i hate you guys! caught me when i was training on drive thru as well >_< LOL
january 28, 2007 .//. 7:50pm everybody wants to live a life without stress and relaxation...im at a point where things are so stressful...confusing...but its so good at the same time...im currently dreadding work...but i love working there...maybe its the weather...i hate winter. its mainly because this training is so intense..the company expects so much from their employees....but all my fellow partners say its okay and not to worry about it..(screwing up here n there) cuz im new....but they just want fast service to keep customers coming back...but man...i feel so shit when i slow everyone down....2morrow i start drive thru...and i somewhat got familiar with the regrister..but i still dont kno the drinks well enough...im kinda hesitant on talking to ppl when they're in their cars..they're in their cars for a reason..theres a drive thru..cuz they have no time to come inside n order...they're in a rush...and want some coffee....and im just picturing the fact that...these ppl will be just be ordering stuff and i'll be like UHH wait hold on...when i kno they're in a rush to do things as is.......man starting out kinda sucks..especially when you dont kno the full menu......but i kno i'll love the job when i kno how things are done....hopefully i'll take all the pain during winter...and when the warm weather kicks in...i'll be a really good barista....and makin everyone frapps LOL but yeah...right now i just gotta live through it i guess...the staff have been really helpful...kind and make me less nervous when i DO screw up....they're great ppl..ive never in my life worked with such welcoming people!!! so for that..i thank them... i really wanna make an impact...and soon...ive had dreams of just becoming a well known person...and to some extent its kinda happened...but i wanna take the next step...i really wanna open that site.....design tshirts...and promote myself...AN2007 shall be my starting point for this...but i gotta plan so much for it :X...bobby chiu email'd me a couple months ago tellin me about his new digital painting 2 class...im gonna want to apply for that course for summer..when i finish this semester.....im also interested in taking photography during summer too....get back into the technical things of taking photos rather than just pushing the button down on a camera...this is gonna cost me quite a bit but its a small goal that i will set for myself this year...theres so many things i wanna do now that i got that job...and i lost alot of "free" time...hahaha makes you wonder if there was something out there where you get paid for doing nothing....haha maybe i'll start a business like that for myself ;D hahahahaha but anyways..this post is so useless...just ranting.....maybe i should ask for less hours o-o
january 7, 2007 .//. 10:28pm hmm its been a while..i dunt kno where i shall start off today...i mean, having it be my first entry of the new year n all :)...haha bleh whatever here we go :) 2006...it was nothin new/special...i mean yeah i did get a chance to go 2 china..see my grandfather for one last time...that was a life changing moment...well just in small parts....hopefully it'll hit me again and again and again...i didnt do much this year...it kinda passed by fairly quickly...school wasnt the best..still isnt but im slowly gettin there...:T at least im gettin there i guess o-o...i met new ppl...got in touch with old friends via facebook LOL hmmm summer...i tried spending time with good friends..having random outings rather than...the usual "lets go out for a drink/clubbing offers"...i thank the ones that have stood by myside even tho i couldnt attend their events due to my lack of funds..or arranging it so that i can be involved in one way or another....the little things.....i do thank you...
2007...i want to make this a fresh start...get rid of some old habbits...but we all kno its easier said than done...and for me to say that makes it all that much more hard 2 believe....but i still have some faith...i just dont kno when but i kno it will be this year is when i'll be happy again and be out there once again!...well like every year, there will always be that first "bump in the road" to start your dramatic life...and i just hit mine today....well i should have known it was comin but just got reminded i guess... dunno if you kno already but my parents have been in a lil circle with jobs and $$...now they're currently lookin at some restaurants...we may have found one in windsor..but they're still keepin their eyes open for one that might be closer to home...otherwise they'll just have 2 like rent out an appartment there or something...anwyays...dad just gave me my "allowence" if u wanna call it anything...when he gave it to me he said here's 80 for now...then im like i dont kno how much my school fee will cost me this semester...he said how much is it going to cost?...and i said it was around $500 something...(since i was part time)...but when i said it...i was thinking...shit..its gonna be more cuz i want to take like an extra class or two.....so then he said...oh well umm..as long as it doesnt like..double it should be okay......so i just sat there thinking hmmm well...i kinda didnt do so well in imaging systems...failed ...maybe..o-o uhhh anyways im gonna talk 2 peter (my prof) about it if i see him....but then i dunno if i should bother...if 2D and imaging systems cost me around $500...2D and imaging systems for semester prolly gonna cost the same....and i wanna take 3D and painting...but if im thinkin that its like $250 ish a course then its obviously gonna double...or maybe i should take 2D, 3D and painting ? well...i dont need painting cuz i got a B last year...but i need pieces for my portfolio....o-o imaging systems... i dunno if i can get in...kinda complicated...not really sure what im gonna do....well according to my classmate mike...he said the timetable is as follows monday: imaging systems 8am-11am wednesday: painting 8am-11am 2D design 11am-2pm friday: 3D design 1pm-4pm well those are the ones i wanna take yes? o-o its every other day...im fine with it...i wanna try n get a job for some of those inbetween hours/days...but i gotta see how things go for 2morrow i guess..o_o...anyways im tryin now 2 drown myself in too much depression over these things...ive been there and i hated it...yet here i am...-_- anyways other than that lil problem things are alright on my end of the table...i guess...we shall see what the tomorrows have to give me mm??
despite all that...2007 seems to be a really goood year so far...met new ppl already...kinda got more focused...i dunno...time can tell :) but yea...the party i went to was awesome!...had a couple drinks....took a hit and i was instantly gone..haha it never happened before but i really had a good time hahaha even tho i just sat there n didnt really do much i enjoyed every moment of it HAHAHA! thanks everyone :O but yes i dunno i think i should just leave the small things out...i dont talk about the details that happen in my day anymore? haha maybe i should start doing so again ^^ JUST MAYBE ;) anyways i guess i'll leave it at that o_O wish me luck ^^
december 19, 2006 .//. 5:42am Nice Guys Finish Last Garrett Hols
It’s amazing that assholes can get girls. Actually, now that I think of it, it’s not that amazing. They are assholes at heart, but to meet girls they lavish their undying love. IT’S A CHARADE. They act nice, friendly, and they listen… until they get into what they’re after. Their prey thinks they are in love with them, however when they realize what assholes their predators really are, they pretend like the asshole is really nice inside. The girl tries to change the asshole into a nice guy, but assholes will always be assholes. She gets upset and goes to the nice guy to complain about the asshole. But she claims to love the asshole… now this is where the theory begins. She doesn’t want to look like she is easy so she wont dump the asshole right away, instead she will stay with the asshole. Girls are idiots. They don’t realize that the nice guy has been there all along. He never had to pretend to be a good guy to get girls because he is naturally like that. However, girls don’t see it for some reason or another. They look at the nice guy as a friend, a trusted companion to whom they can tell their sad story to about their asshole boyfriend. But the nice guy isn’t THAT naïve. He was trying to score with the girl he listens to all along. The problem is that since he is a nice guy he keeps listening. Since girls get attached to things that pay attention to them, they think of the nice guy as a friend. A FRIEND. They don’t say, “Oh he’s hot” or “I want to have his children” about the nice guy, they just want the emotional support. When they get the emotional support from the nice guy, they don’t need it from the asshole. The nice guy gets the shit end of the stick while the asshole gets all the action. I am starting to wonder if being a nice guy is really the route to take to get action… I have been down this path for all of my post-pubescent life and it has gotten me NOWHERE… at least not in the women department. Perhaps another reason why girls fall for the asshole is because assholes ignore the girl they are with. The women wonder, “Why isn’t he paying attention to me?” so they explore why. They poke and prod and get closer to the asshole. They start to get easier with each attempt to get closer. The asshole finally says, “I’ve let this beauty dangle long enough, time to boat this bass”. It is then he puts on his charade and the girl feels like she has won him… even thought all she has won is an asshole. Once you have gone down the path as a nice guy or a “listener” you can’t turn back. The girl will always go after the assholes because there are always nice guys there to listen. Once you realize that you are a “listener” you cant do anything about it… just pack up and close shop. There is no way you will get into her pants… ever. There is and never will be a situation where the nice guy will get the girl he has a crush on. It just doesn’t work like that. The girl wont “come to her senses” and realize what an asshole her boyfriend is like in the movies… instead she will just go after another asshole, and unless you stop being a nice guy, she will never go after you. Women complain that there are no nice guys in the world. Right. They are obviously not looking hard enough because there are nice guys EVERYWHERE!!!! Girls aren’t looking for nice guys… they say they are but they’re not. They are looking for the perfect asshole, but there is NO SUCH THING as the perfect asshole. All in all, the nice guy gets the shaft. To all the girls out there with boyfriends that don’t treat you with respect, that don’t listen to you, and that don’t care about you I say this; look next to you. The guy that has been standing next to you the whole time is the guy you have been looking for. He is what you want your asshole to be like. He knows more about you than you know about yourself… because he has listened to it all.
december 15, 2006 .//. 2:33am (happy birthday chantelle ^^) shit shit shit! who rocks? I DO OF COURSE!!!!! BEST FUCKING COME BACK EVER~ (its wicked but i gotta stop doin it) ANYWAYS! WOOOO
monday...if i didnt show the teacher any paintings by thursday... he said he would have to just fail me!.....:( BUT!!!!! 2 days...i finished everything i didnt have for that class
..soooo
i went from....FAIL to B+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEE!!!! he was really suprised...said my work was A quality but had to give me a B+ cuz it was "late" but i said that is absolutely fine i'll post some artwork up later..i gotta work on a few more assignments but they should be done in a jiffy!! ^^ WOO!!!!
thanks for the comments in the AFpit from ppl i didnt even know thanks to the cool stranger lady for overhearing my conversation n hookin up my friend with a bus ticket ^^
december 13, 2006 .//. 8:13am woke up at 1pm on dec 11th and stayed up for 33 hours...i went to sleep and i just woke up....man did that feel SOO GOOD!! ^^ anyways i might go back 2 sleep cuz its way too early to do anything XD HAHA! but i gotta finish 2 paintings, 1 photoshop by 2morrow (easy pie) and then 2 perspective drawings for friday (i'll mangage pie...rofl)...:) and i'll be done!!! hahaha yay!!!
there is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so... -w.shakespeare
bored
thankful
numb
sore
frustrated
bouncy
creative
discontent
*mehehe* so i got a new haircut on sunday...i decided to get something i had in highschool...why? haha just cuz i guess..lol anyways today i put shit in my hair...first time in months! ahaha i dunno its nice but its so bad for my hair :( o well what can i do i guess...
blah
irritated
uncomfortable
sleepy
cold
accomplished
hungry